We have some box office banter this week for you. A guest takes over the 'Around the League' section for a league power rankings of their own. Plus, I've decided to include additional bits as I feel. See "Good Comp!" this week. There's a lot of meat on that banter bone today, so let's jump in.

 -Commish

Alvin Kamara - Parma Pirates

It literally couldn't have been anyone else. He dropped a 40 bomb with 4 TDs. If you didn't watch him during this game, do yourself a favor and watch that game back. It just so happens that I have him on my squad, but I'd be saying this no matter who he was on. Kamara is absolutely in the imaginary Super League MVP convo right now. Another great thing about this performance is that it lead to scorigami. If Kamara failed to get into the endzone the final time, the final score of the game would not have been scorigami.

The Bridge Road Orcas vs. Play Action Jackson

This matchup is sneakily interesting. It features an Orcas team that needs a win, as any positive outcomes while CMC is sidelined drastically improve their chances at making the playoffs. It also features a Play Action Jackson team coming off a 2-0 start from taking care of lower-level teams. This is a real test for both teams, and I think whoever loses here will not be happy by the end of Monday night. I really like the way these teams match-up on paper, though PAJ may have a slight edge. Still, this is anyone's ballgame and will be the one I'm constantly refreshing this weekend. Player matchups to watch: Lamar Jackson vs. CJ Stroud, Brock Purdy vs. Aaron Rodgers, and Brock Bowers vs. Mark Andrews.

Sacks in the City vs. Washington Fantasy Team

Last week, I missed on the Monday Night Agony prediction, but I have a winner this week. While many may see Nathan's Sacks in the City as the obvious leader here, I think this game will be tight. With multiple Monday night games this coming week, it's clear that this will be up in the air until Monday. Both teams have quarterbacks that play (each other) on Monday, and the Fantasy Team has two other projected starters that play Monday. Some serious damage will be needed to prevent Monday Night Agony. Strap in fellas, this will be one to keep an eye on for both sides.

Ranking Team Identities (by Zach)

Hello Super League! It's me, Zark! And I will be your tour guide through your reading journey today. I know you're used to the writing expertise of our beloved Commissioner Josiah "Cucky Wucky" Cook, but I hope I can share with you a different perspective today, and if all goes well, I'd love to write more articles for this league in the future. I decided for my first novel that I'd keep it light and rank every team's identity. Some things I took into consideration when putting this list together include logo, team name and history, manager personality, and overall participation. Because of my criteria, you may notice that most of the newer teams are ranked towards the bottom of the list, but I hope I can inspire every team to fully realize their identity and develop themselves into the next great Super League franchises, not just funny little one-off team names and logos. Without further ado, let's get riiiiiiiiight into the rankings!

-Zach

12. PT Flea Flik-er (Jackson Haywood) 

Jackson just took over his team at the start of this season, so he deserves a grace period when it comes to finding his identity, but I think as things currently stand, this is the worst "logo" and team name in the league. I mean it doesn't make me giggle even a little bit. Pair that with Jackson's limited participation in the group chat so far, and unfortunately, I don't think anybody else could have been ranked in last place. Mans has admittedly been more focused on meeting his future wife (respect dawg). Sorry for the ranking buddy, but I know great things are coming for this team down the road.

11. Muff Punters (Tyler Shaffer)

This ranking honestly hurts, because I think this team represents Tyler to a T. I mean he literally is the logo, and he looks damn good in that picture too, no kizzy. Unfortunately. I don't think Tyler has really made his presence felt in this league yet, since he also just joined and hasn't been the most active. Bro is still rostering Elijah Mitchell for crying out loud… Those things will come with time and I'm sure this brand will reach its full potential, just as we've seen Tyler demonstrate with the reigning champion South Side SteelCocks in NGFL.

10. Sacks in the City (Nathan Graham) 

Nathan isn't new to Super League, but his team's name and logo are. Since it's so new I think we need some time to let it set in so we can really get a feel for what Sacks in the City is all about. I think he's done a great job of playing into the brand so far, though. We know what Nathan can do from a roster management standpoint, as he's been a strong manager since he joined. He's also activein league discussions which is always great to see. This team could be a riser in these rankings very soon.

9. GIRTH (Brian "Truly" Murphy)

What can I say? This guy LOVES girth. He brings it up every chance he gets. This isn't the first time he's featured the name for one of his fantasy teams, so for that reason, this doesn't feel as much like a brand new identity to me. GIRTH has history, even if outside of this league, and it fully represents who Truly is as a young Indian man. Add in the fact that he's constantly active and you've got a solid start to a Super League career. We can all feel the GIRTH.

8. Jacob's Team (Jacob Casto)

Jacob is easily one of the most active personalities in the league and has been since he joined last season. He's always part of the conversation and without a doubt the most frequent trader of his time. The issue is with the multiple team name and logo changes throughout his tenure. I decided to go with "Jacob's Team" like Josiah did in his previous article because of this and because I believe that he could change it again at any moment (maybe not today, as I'm writing this on 9/11). It seems like he's struggled to find one that'll stick. I will say that they always do make me laugh. Jacob has always had a way with humor and it's one of the things I admire about the man. If he can workshop the name and logo, he would fly up these rankings very quickly.

 7. Play Action Jackson (Steven Cadogan/Dion Sherman)

One thing is for sure... we all have felt the presence of this franchise, for good or for bad. Maybe you've received a terrible trade offer from them (you have) or maybe Steven has called you the N-word (he has). Either way, these guys (at least Steven) are active and they do try. The team name and logo is a tribute to their star QB, which I can get behind, even if it's just a picture of Lamar. If the Dion half of this partnership was more active, they could be ranked higher, but the teams above them are some of the heaviest hitters we've ever seen. For these reasons, I settled on lucky No. 7 for PAJ. May this good luck carry over throughout the season for this team. They'll need it.

6. The Bridge Road Orcas (Jack Hurney)

Right off the bat I gotta say that I don't find it aesthetically pleasing that "The" is included in the team's name. The logo could also use some work, but the Orcas are easily one of the most storied franchises in league history and that's backed up by their championship win. Jack is also one of the most active in the group chat, always being the first to crack a joke or send memes or react to news. Where he hasn't been the most active is in his team management, but I won't hold that against him too much. The man is a SUPER LEAGUE CHAMPION. Something that most of us, including myself, dream of becoming one day.

5. SLATS SLIMES (Sam Lattari) 

This team's logo speaks for itself. That jawn cold as a mothafucka! The color scheme could not be more perfect. I'm actually kind of jealous that my name isn't SLAT so I could be the Slimes myself. Sam has put his team in position to be competitive since he joined the league. He's active in the chat and when it comes to managing his team, always being open to make trades. He's the newest team that you'll see ranked inside the top 6 on this list, which is a huge compliment to how he's built his identity. Bravo, sir. Bravo.

*I want to preface this by saying that any of the top 4 could be in the No. 1 spot. When I think of Super League, this is the Mount Rushmore in my opinion. These guys are league legends, and I genuinely feel like this league wouldn't be where it is today without each of them*

4. Washington Fantasy Team (Curtis Rose) 

Where do I even begin with this franchise? Curtis has been on one of, if not the greatest run since this league's inception. He's consistently been able to flip trash into treasure and put his team back into the mix despite the odds against him. The lineup tactic he uses every week has become an iconic move. The GIF he sends after every win strikes fear into his opponents. These days he's a little less active in the chat, and for good reason. He's a working man after all and he's a grinder. I respect the hell out of it. The logo and team name, while simple, exudes pure class. This is Washington Fantasy Team. You can't say that name without also saying SUPER LEAGUE CHAMPION.

3. Zark's Sharks (Zachary Moore) 

I don't wanna self succ in my own article, but I'd like to think that I've earned this ranking. I feel a sense of responsibility to try my hardest every week because of the time and effort our commissioner puts into making this the greatest keeper league of all-time, and I hope that's felt. I love being in the group chat talking shit with all of you guys. I think my logo is top tier and my team name is the only one that rhymes, so that means something. I've been called Zark for a while now (shoutout Reed Lucas for giving me the nickname) and I've even began using that as my online personality. It was an easy decision to bring that over to Super League. The Sharks come in at No.3.

2. Parma Pirates (Josiah Cook) 

The Pirates are iconic. Commissioner Josiah Cook is an icon. The fact that he recently improved the team's logo from the pubescent pirate to the more frightening skull and crossbones even further cements this franchise amongst the top of the top of this list. That was a huge upgrade! Josiah is always active in the chat and making moves, but he's also just the most active person in the whole league all things considered. This league literally would not be possible without his mind and without his time. The man built a whole ass website and provides us with league content on a consistent basis, even in the offseason when some of you mfers are asleepat the wheel. Nothing but respect for the Pirates and what they've been able to build over the last several years.

1. Bud Ice Penguins (Noah and Nick O'Reilly) 

It just had to be Bud Ice at No 1. Nick might as well not even exist from an identity standpoint. In fact, some of the new owners in this league might not even know he exists. However, Noah makes up for all that. He's easily the most passionate fantasy football guy I've had the pleasure to know. He's got a fiery, competitive spirit about him that I admire, even if he's absolutely AIDS sometimes. This guy just knows football on a high level and it shows in this franchises track record. The Penguins accomplished the unthinkable, completing the perfect season and setting a wins record that will likely never be broken. They are SUPER LEAGUE CHAMPIONS. Top tier logo. Top tier color scheme. Top tier team name. The Penguins are forever immortalized in Super League history.

 Thanks for reading fellas <3

If Super League Teams Were Rappers

The parenthesis is a little context. Just based on your roster and team vibe rn.

Bud Ice Penguins (Noah) - Nas (historic and one of the current best)

and since there could be two of you reading this

Bud Ice Penguins (Nick) - Notorious B.I.G (Absent from the current game but impact is felt)

GIRTH - P Diddy (Jail Him, 1000 bottles of baby oil)

Muff Punters - Dave (Underrated and up and coming)

Parma Pirates - DJ Kool Herc (I invented this shit)

Play Action Jackson (both) - Nicki Minaj (Had sex with Meek Mill)

and since there could be two of you reading this

Play Action Jackson (both) - Childish Gambino (Went from horrible to decent)

PT Flea Flick-er - Jack Harlow (Has something to prove, white)

Sacks in the City - Baby Keem (Young and electric yet Noah hates it)

Sir, They Hit The Towers - Kanye West (Polarizing, offensive, but talented)

Slat's Slimes - Drake (Canadian but not currently winning)

The Bridge Road Orcas - Eminem (Old legend going through a lot right now)

Washington Fantasy Team - Andre 3000 (Legend but moves less frequently these days)

Zark's Sharks - Kendrick Lamar (The current best)