What a weird week. I'm not sure how to weigh this week in the overall picture, but considering virtually all matchups were blowouts, there will be narratives. Big ups to the new franchises as they each earn their first Super League W. QBs completely flopped, which in a 2 QB league has dire consequences. I expect next week to be a progression to the expected mean.

-Commish

Tier 1: Gods

1. Zark's Sharks

Zach would have been beat by multiple other teams around the league this week, but I am not fooled by one week. Josh Allen laid a giant turd on the field Monday night, and neither of his RBs could muster up 10 points in week 1. Luckily for the Sharks, I expect Allen to bounce back throughout the next few weeks, and the Sharks may hold both halves of the most electric RB duo in football, with David Montgomery surely receiving starting consideration in week 2. Zach starts 1-0 versus his step-bro, and should get to 3-0 quite easily with their next two matchups (vs Unfinished Biz and Parma Pirates). He's still the top dog until there's convincing evidence otherwise.

2. Bud Ice Penguins

The Bud Ice Penguins beat the piss out of the Parma Pirates this week, but it's kind of like Alabama facing Middle Tennessee State and expecting to learn something from it. The Penguins did their job, put up a ton of points, and should look to also get to 3-0 with matchups versus Washington Fantasy Team and Christian's Squad in the horizon. The Penguins may have to worry about secondary rival "The Dynasty", as they look very strong coming out of the gate as well. The Penguins have everything they need to win a Super League title, but they must keep up a high level of play on a weekly basis or I will call them frauds. That's just how it works, but for now, they are a God of the league and a clear top team.

Tier 2: Playoff Hopefuls

3. The Dynasty

Wow, my post-lotto top 3 stays intact! Jack had a monster week, managing the second most points of the opening week. I said last week if Jack bet correctly on his QBs... Watch out tier 1 teams. Not only did his top QB meet this criteria, he was the best QB in week 1. I love his starting lineup, I love his bench, and I love the new team name. Jack is forever a Super League champion, and he is certainly hunting for banner number 2. Another week like this and we may see The Dynasty join tier 1.

4. Slatt's Slimes

Slatt put up numbers in week 1, but the thing that stood out the most to me was his 3 keepers, Ekeler, Herbert, and Hill, were his highest scoring players and carried the team to victory. This is a great sign, as it shows Sam's decision making in the expansion draft and in his trades so far have been strong enough to build a solid core. The Slimes take a 1-0 lead over his rival Carter, and I now believe Sam could sweep the series, which would put him firmly in the top 5 at the end of the season per my projections. Look for Sam to add in pieces around his core throughout this season. We could be looking at a legit contender for the playoffs and possibly beyond.

5. PGH Crooners

Nathan dodged the "Welcome to Super League" moment by beating arch rival Christian's Squad in week 1, earning their first Super League W. With matchups against Play Action Jackson and Washington Fantasy Team in weeks 2 & 3, it's very possible 3-0 could be in the cards for the expansion squad. The scary part for rival teams is the amount of flex options this team has, with Breece Hall and Brandon Aiyuk having big weeks on the Crooners bench. I expect this team to be in the playoff mix all season, with a chance to have a special opening season if they can beat fellow newcomer Slatt's Slimes in their matchups this season.

Tier 3: Mid Island

6. Christian's Squad

The first week of the QB0 has come and gone, and Christian leaves with an L. He had a stronger showing than the bottom tier teams, but I believe Christian's team left a lot on the table in week 1. This is better than peaking in week 1, in my opinion. There is no way Lamb, Harris, Mixon, and Deebo are all held under 10 points next week, I would suspect multiple of them reach that mark next week. If QB's struggling in week 1 becomes a full season trend, Christian's bet on skill players could prove to be a wise and profitable one. Christian's biggest challenge comes in weeks 2 and 3, as he faces The Dynasty and the Bud Ice Penguins, two of the most powerful squads in the league. If he can somehow make it to week four with a record of 1-2, then I think the playoffs are very much in the picture for this team. If they start 0-3, I do question this owner's willingness to stick to the plan. As of now, I still prefer this roster over the other Mid Island resident.

7. Play Action Jackson

Live by Lamar, die by Lamar, and in week 1, death was unavoidable. They still nearly put up 100 points despite the horrible effort from Lamar, and this was largely due to Tony Pollard, who came out the gate looking like RB1. I expect this roster to bounce back in week 2, as there is too much talent for there to be continuous busts. I am only really raising them a spot due to the team in front of them facing multiple challenges. I think this team could still make a run, but they need their titular man to show out. If Lamar and Pollard can be on in the same week, this is still a dangerous team that will need to be taken seriously.

Tier 4: Poopoo

8. UNFINISHED BIZ

Uh oh. Yes, Carter had a decent scoring week, but the loss of Aaron Rodgers for what will likely be an extended period leaves the best QB on the roster being Baker Mayfield. This team has suddenly become the second QB0 team this season, but with mid RBs down the roster, I strongly prefer Christian's method of QB0. It looks like Carter may have plenty of WR options to potentially trade, but he cannot start more than 4 of these guys. Look for this team to shake it up with trades in the near future. I think this team is almost guaranteed to miss the playoffs due to the strong emergence of main rival Slatt's Slimes. Kelce better be himself when he gets back or this team is in serious danger for this season. This team may be a Mid Island team, but they smell stinky to me right now.

9. Washington Fantasy Team

They move up a slot by default. This team is still not doing anything this season, as the debt is paid off from the 2022 Super League championship. Curtis' championship is valid and he is forever in the Super League pantheon. 2023 will not be a season to remember for the rich men north of Richmond.

10. Parma Pirates

Terrible showing for the Pirates. They almost got beat by 100. I'm not trying to tank, I promise. My team is just ass. This is to be expected when one of my top picks, Taylor, is doing nothing. The Pirates may be fodder for the rest of the league this season as they look towards 2024.