HOW IS IT ALREADY WEEK 9? This shit is going by too quickly. The train doesn't stop in week 9, as many anticipated and high stakes matchups await. Six weeks stand in between us and the playoffs, and there's a lot of work to be done. There's new tiers btw.

-Commish

Tier 1: AIDS Tier

1. Bud Ice Penguins (-)

Clinching the playoffs in week 8 is unheard of... What can I even say at this point. The thing that I keep thinking about is maybe the brothers being united behind one banner is actually too powerful. They literally haven't lost since joining forces. I didn't consider this factor at all preseason, but now I see that the intangibles match the tangibles. This is like if McDonalds and Wendy's decided to team up to make the whole world fat and then they actually did it because no one stopped them. Shit is AIDS honestly.

Tier 2: Top Tier

2. Slatt's Slimes (-)

The Slimes looked strong af in week 8, and they retain the top scorer title for yet another week. This team plays with a chip on their shoulder. When they have a down week, they bounce back with authority. The Slimes have a big chance in week 9 as the Sharks come to town in a battle of the top two scoring teams of the season. The Slimes are in a great position due to the Sharks' continual bad luck this season, but this isn't an easy game by any means. These two teams were separated by .2 points last week. The good news for the Slimes is after week 9, it should be a nice smooth ride to the finish line, with a matchup against what should be an Explosive Potential team that sold pieces in the days leading into the matchup, and two matchups remaining against a Carter Tracey led team that will undoubtedly be stripped to the studs in the coming weeks. Yeah, the Penguins are the only official clinch, but you might as well add the Slimes to the list. 

3. Zark's Sharks (-)

I'm not sure I've seen worse fantasy luck in a season. This season has proven to be an endurance challenge for the Sharks, and the worst case scenario is quickly arriving. A QB injury is VERY hard to deal with in this league... 2 QB injuries is catastrophic. Despite this, despite his defense and tight end giving him 1.4 points combined this week, and even despite Justin Jefferson's extended absence, this team continues to produce at a high level. They dropped the second most points in the league this week. And yet they lose, and not just lose, get blown out. Not just get blown out, but blown out by the last place team. This serves as a reminder to everyone in this league: no matter what you do to prepare for the season, the fantasy gods will find a way to break you. What can you even say at this point if you're Zach?

Speaking of those fantasy gods, I have a theory about why they're doing this to this team. Basically, Zach is fantasy Job, and he must endure the gauntlet before.... Actually I don't remember how Job ends so I'm not able to say really. I don't even think they had football in the old testament. 

What I'm trying to say is the fantasy gods often lay the biggest challenges at the feet of its greatest players, and that's what Zach is. And you'd be a complete dumbass to count this man out right now. If Justin Jefferson has football left to play this season, there's no reason why this isn't the best team in the league.

Tier 3: The Dog Fight

4. Washington Fantasy Team (+2)

If the Slimes didn't exist, this team would be the team of the season. It's hard to wrap my head around where this team is today versus where their expectations were. Curtis has proven himself to be one of the top minds in the league, and this season is proof that you can make about any strategy work in this league as long as there's meaning and thought behind it. I never would have expected Curtis to do what he did, but now he finds himself holding a playoff spot and a clear path to retaining it, if he can win the right games. That's a really big if right now, given Curtis has possibly the most difficult schedule remaining. Still, Curtis has the tiebreaker edge on both the Pirates and Crooners, and could very well give rival team the Sharks a run for their money in their matchups. It's unknown where this team ends up honestly, and they could be the first team out, but right now, they look like the most consistent bet out of the league's tough middle class.

5. PGH Crooners (-1)

The Crooners are in a tough spot, with many of the players hurt, and for week 9, many of the players on BYE. It's still hard to envision this team fully losing their spot though, given the 3 gimme weeks between Load Management and Explosive Potential post pick window. This team could be a sneaky sell candidate, given that the injury situation is mounting and no clear path exists to the championship this season. They could obviously be a buy candidate as well, but Nathan hasn't shown his hand on this at all. We will learn a lot about this team in the coming weeks, but right now the focus is on getting healthy. Every time I doubt the Crooners they pull me back in, so I won't say I don't trust this team, but with so many other good teams in the mix, I might trust this team the least out of the bunch.

6. Bridge Road Orcas (+1)

I am gonna say this right now, I honestly believe this team is a playoff team. Step one begins this week versus the Pirates. The thing that has been lost in the noise around the league this year is that this team has scored only 20 points less than the Penguins this season, despite 5 less wins. Again, the Orcas control their own destiny (as much as any team can in fantasy), and I believe in the #ComebackSZN. It's predictable that I'd root for Jack but fuck it man. I just wanna see some trade activity from this team in some way to really buy in. They have very good waiver activity but trades have never been their thing. This needs to change in my opinion for a title season to be possible, especially given the Penguins use of solid trading as a competitive advantage. A couple of fringe moves and the win in week 9 would be huge for playoff chances.

7. Parma Pirates (-2)

The Pirates lose a must win game, and are now faced with another. I said a similar sentence last week and that team ended up winning. Ah shit, did I jinx my reverse jinx? The Pirates will have to make the playoffs off record alone now, as they do not hold either key tiebreaker against the fellow 4-4 teams. The Pirates must beat the Orcas twice in order to not fall below the tide.

Tier 4: Trades are Coming

8. Play Action Jackson. (-)

This just sucks for these guys. I don't know what I can say to make it better. At least the season is not over in terms of moves that can be made. I don't have much to say here because I'm not even sure what to say at this point that I didn't say in the previous two weeks. I am hopeful these two come up with a plan for the pick window and execute. They are clearly the best of the bottom tier teams by far, which means they clearly have the most ammo to get picks of maybe any team. The trades are there, and the conversations should be starting now, even though no draft pick trade can be officially agreed to until 12PM EST on Nov 8th.

9. Explosive Potential (+1)

Holy fuck Jacob. I thought you might sneak up on a team, but not the Sharks, and definitely not like this. Jacob has been much more active than every team in this tier or lower, and that work is starting to already pay off. Jacob has some blockbuster pieces to sell next week, and yet I hear murmurs that this team wants to compete still. Is this the right move? Almost certainly not. I can't help but kind of wanna see that. Jacob would have to spend assets to turn a spoiler team into.. what exactly? I just hope the explosive nature of this team returns in week 12 when they face the Bud Ice Penguins. Next week is the true test of Jacob as an executive, and I'm excited to see how it all plays out.

Tier 5: Smid Tier

10. LOAD MANAGEMENT YEAR (-1)

I guess Jabari Smid bought the team. What does that mean? This team is now the worst team in the league, and it makes sense given Curtis' overhaul and Explosive Potential's explosive nature. All I know is if Jabari Smid bought this team this franchise is in big trouble. At least GM Carter Tracey, a proven trading visionary (to some), is still around. I'm praying that this team makes some moves when picks open next week.